More than 2/3 of the way done

This morning I was thinking of what it will be like to wake up, on Friday, April 29th, and not have to take either my chemo pill or walk down to the Penn Medical Center for my daily radiation treatments. I'm not sure what I'll do with myself except eat a huge breakfast, during regular breakfast hours of course (remember, I am currently not allowed to eat "breakfast" until after treatment- which invariably means 10:30 or so at the earliest), and then maybe go back to bed for a nap. Though probably the more likely scenario is that I'll wake up, eat a big breakfast during normal breakfast hours, and then get going on the final paper that I have only worked on sporadically over the past few weeks. It's due on May 6th, and I still have about 15-20 pages to write! This semester has taught me that I'm either an "on" or "off" type of person; unfortunately there's no "half-way" with me. If I can find any reason to procrastinate then I often do. Sometimes it's nice to have a full agenda because then it's much easier to get things done.

I also recently spoke with my radiologist, who told me that a likely side-effect of radiation therapy (proton included) is a minor loss of "processing" ability. He said that this effect will likely continue for the next 4-6 months or so (even after treatment has concluded), but then hopefully will return (potentially back to normal) by 12 months out. So if you've had any weird conversations with me since January where I'd stare, drool, or simply not answer in the same way that I used to, blame my depleted processing ability. It HAS often impacted my ability to study. I get distracted/bored frequently with what's in front of me, but this has also been somewhat ameliorated by having a much lighter schedule than normal. Reading 5 pages of Corporate Tax per day makes my absorbtion ability much easier and, given the fact that it and some research in preparation for this summer is almost everthing for which I am responsible this semester, wholly manageable. Lesson: if you're a grad student and find yourself with some kind of brain tumor/other serious malady, do yourself a favor and at least lessen your semester credit load a bit.

Also, thank God that, apart from a little fatigue every now and then, my reduced processing abilities, my inability to stop talking sometimes, and my loss of hair, my treatment regime has not been nearly as bad as I had originally thought it might be. I've been able to finish a full semester's worth of law school credits, I've been able to take a reduced load and will still have no problem graduating with my class in 2011 (due to my summer research papers-God willing, of course), and I've been able to work on substantive areas of law that really interest me this semester (specifically the classes that I'm currently taking and the papers I intend to research and write this summer). I've had my 15 seconds of fame with a local news station, and I've even been allowed to drink a few glasses of beer/wine every now and then. I've become much closer to friends and family, my church and God, and my relationship with my wife has improved significantly. I guess the only downside is the fact that I have a brain tumor but really, on balance it almost sounds like a wash to me :)